If you ever need a hand – a babysitter, a taxi-driver, a shoulder to cry on – I’m here. I know that the days ahead are going to be hard.I want you to know that if you need anything, you can call me. You and David have been such good friends to me over the years.If you need someone to talk to, please don’t be afraid to call any time, day or night.Now is the perfect time to tell the family that you’ll be there for them in the days ahead: Those agonising over what to write in a remembrance book for a funeral often forget that it’s really an opportunity. For widows and widowers, “You’ll find love again someday” can be hurtful, even if it turns out to be true. “I know exactly how you feel” can also upset bereaved families. So, try to avoid phrases like “This is all part of God’s plan,” or “He/She is in a better place” – especially if the family isn’t religious. No one wants their comments to cause the family pain. Often with a book of condolence, what to write is the least of your worries. A picture is worth a thousand words, after all. If you have any great photos of the person who has died, you could also slip these between the pages with a note about when they were taken. She always went the extra mile to help you, and she had a real sixth sense about when you needed it… Lucy was the kindest, sweetest person you could ever meet.He had the biggest smile on his face I’d ever seen. The kids had dressed him up as a princess, beard and all. Was there something about them you always admired? What were their strengths, what made them unique? So, try to share a memory of the person who has died, or say something about who they were as a person and what they meant to you. One of the things families find most comforting about a funeral is the chance to hear all kinds of stories about the person they’ve lost. You and your family will be in my thoughts….Liz, Tom, Jasper – my heart goes out to you.I can’t find the words to say how sorry I am, and how much Lucy will be missed….I was so sorry to hear that David died….When you’re trying to write in a condolence or funeral memory book, the first sentence is often the hardest to write. Ways to start your condolence book message Try to talk about what the person who has died was like. You can be brief! A couple of sentences is fine if you’re struggling.Some things to remember when signing a book of condolence: But don’t let that keep you from trying: the important thing is that you make the effort. Now, the scary part (for many of us, at least) is figuring out what to write in a condolence book or book of remembrance. It can even help you come to terms with your own feelings of loss. But if you do manage to write a message of support, it can mean a lot to the family of the person who has died. The prospect of writing in a condolence book can be a little daunting.
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